Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
