Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
