absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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