I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
