That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
