So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
