OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
