His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
operation have a gay friend backfired
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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