that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
