I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
