Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
