If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
