So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
