watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Found your dick twin last night
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
