I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Randomize
