you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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