Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
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