Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
