Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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