Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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