At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
