whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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