Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
