I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
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