Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
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