There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
