Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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