I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
