She went from zero to smokin in five shots
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Randomize
