just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
