If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
