Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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