I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
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