I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
