she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Panties = found
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