so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
