I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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