It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
dude. I can hear the air.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
