How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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