you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
