thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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