Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
