Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
That's intense
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
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