Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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