cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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