I just threw up on my dentist
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
