After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
