There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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