All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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