you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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